At the end of January, my daughter turns three.

I try to record the most awesome/hilarious/ridiculous things she says on Facebook, and people seem to get a kick out of it. In preparation for her third birthday, here are some of my favorite Ruthie statuses of her year as a two-year-old, presented as a series.


I told Ruthie that if she was good at Meijer, I’d get her a special prize. The prize she picked out was Hello Kitty underwear. She insisted on carrying them out of the store, kissing and hugging the packaging until we got to the car. Then she got them out of the package on the way home and said, “I love you, underwear.”

Made my morning: Ruthie insisted her breakfast grapes were “babies,” and then she laughed maniacally as she ate them up.


“Ruthie, do you want to go eat some Mexican food?”
“Nooooo. I want black beans. I want rice.”
“I think that can be arranged.”

“Ruthie, do you want to go to the movies?”
“NO! I don’t like it!”
“You’ve never really been to the movies. How do you know you don’t like it?”
“I don’t like it, this.”
“It’s a movie about a chimpanzee.”
“No, I don’t like it, this movies.”
“I think you will like it.”
“What’s gross?”
“Rhinos are gross.”
“Okay, kiddo.”

“It’s time to get ready for school.”
“No, don’t wanna go school.”
“But you’ll get to see your friends and your teachers while I go to work.”
“Don’t wanna go school.”
“Ruthie, don’t you want to see your teachers?”
“Did you know that I am a teacher?”

“Okay, it’s time to finish your cereal and go to school.”
“Bowl Cinnamon Life with us?”
“That would make a mess, but I can put it in a baggie for you.”
“I don’t want it, baggie! I want bowl Cinnamon Life with us!”
“Ruthie, a baggie will work just fine.”
“NO! I don’t want it!”
“I’m going to get you a baggie.”
“Ruthie, do you know what a baggie is?”
(Quietly) “No.”
“This is a baggie.”
“Oooh! Baggie Cinnamon Life with us?”
“That’s the plan.”


I bought Ruthie some gumdrop-like candy today to help her get through the day here in my office. She has eaten one and is in the corner with the other four, carefully arranging and re-arranging them as she says, “I love you. And I love you. And I love you. And I love you,” to each piece of candy.

Ruthie’s review of The Maid of the Mist: “I don’t like it boat.”